This painting is based on a photo of my grandmother Nena whilst pregnant with my Uncle. After a decade or so of absence, I visited Cambridge (my birthplace) and was shown this photo by Nena. My earlier childhood was spent with this Chilean side of the family before moving away for the later part of my youth. This separation was a granular break, the pieces floated away quietly without me realizing they were gone. Soon after this pregnancy (her first of two, the next being my mother) she became increasingly depressed, and eventually swept under by drug habits. I never knew the young woman from this image lying still and calm, but probably so overwhelmed by life. It’s two things at once; in reality this moment is before the train derailed completely, and slows a moment of uncertainty and life growing within/from her – but also appears to be her near future, already dead. The dog looks to be a ghost, an accidental element that fits somehow – an echo of what was, or is waiting for her. Heartbreaking or reassuringly, this is an important part of my being and an essential part of my reality now. A part of me that was lost but never gone, this is home.